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cynrama

I love the Lord and base my life on Christ's teachings. I am a daughter, mother, wife, friend and sister. I play many roles in life and believe in taking on all challenges whole-heartedly. Life consists of raising my daughter born Aug of o6 and being a good wife for my husband and living every day in the Lords perfect will for my life. All things are made new and every day is a journey. These are my thoughts.......this is my life.
 

Growing like a weed

Monday, July 23, 2007

Wow, has the year flown by.....Tressie will be one in a few weeks. So you know I'm already making preperations for Tressie's first Birthday Bash on Aug. 11th. My little baby won't be a baby anymore; she will be heading into her toddler years. Sad and exciting at the same time. I wanted a baby for so long and now my time with my baby is quickly passing, but I'm sure it will be equally enjoyable to watch her grow into a little girl, then onto becoming a woman. It goes by so fast. I've been most blessed by staying home with her and really getting to take part in and enjoy every minute. It's benificial for everyone if Mom stays home. Money is nothing compared to the fleeting time I've spent with my daughter....and they are fleeting and every minute is special so all are held dear. I couldn't imagine having to take her to someone else everyday and then only seeing her enough to feed her dinner, bathe her, and then send her off to bed. That just isn't good enough for me.....that's not what a child needs. And I believe that if you're living in God's will then he will make a way for you to stay home and raise your children, but we have to be willing to decide what is most important to us and then stick to it and trust in God. If it's more important to you to have lots of material things, a quarter of a million dollar house, new cars, going out to eat all the time, and designer clothes then your children will get put on the back burner so you can have and provide for them those things. If your children are most important to you then you do with less material things, let God provide the neccessities, and then you can rear your children approppriatly and teach them the most valuable lesson of relying in God to meet our needs and the importance of family over finances. So I believe that it really comes down to morals or money.....which is more important? Anyway, I could write a book on the whole subject - which I intend to someday!

Love and peace!

Absent

Monday, July 16, 2007

I know I've been absent lately.....and trust me when I say that this blog isn't the only thing that has been subject to my absence. I've just had my hands full. We moved, I went on vacation for 3 weeks and I'm still unpacking from both events. The vacation was a blast....I just don't have enough time to make a post about it. I do have time to give a brief update.........

We are all alive
Tressie's walking
She has two teeth
She's a handful
Had a great time on vacation
My house is a mess
I don't know if I can get everything together before Tressie's first birthday party
I haven't had time lately to do any more writing on my book
I haven't had time to go to the gym (though I have been using my treadmill at home)
Life can be so chaotic sometimes
God is good
I'll post again soon....

Love and peace!

Cynthia

Tressie's first trip to the zoo

Wednesday, May 9, 2007





























Tressie's first trip to the zoo last weekend was a blast. She's naturally a happy baby, but she was really excited to see the animals. I think her favorite was probably the lion when he coughed up a hair ball (or atleast that's what I think he was doing)....she screached and bounced with her approval. She also really liked the fish, but we already knew that from her interest in our aquarium at home. She didn't even really get fussy all day (except when we stopped for too long....she likes to keep moving so she can see all that she can see!). She had alot of fun and by the end of the day she was worn out! I've included a few pictures:

First we arrive at the zoo....she's so excited! Then you can see Tressie and the zebra's, then Tressie and Daddy checking out the fish together. Next you can see Tressie sitting on the comono dragon, and by the end of the day all the excitement wore her out and she was sound asleep in her stroller....such a sweet baby!










The section on Love from The Relationship Epidemic: The Truth and Lies about love, happiness, and relationships

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

(c) 2007

The Truth About Love
Being as relationships are based on love, I thought this was a good place to start. I believe our epedemic stems from the misunderstanding of love. Divorce occurs because true love was never present, given the wrong identity, or lost somewhere along the way. Non-marital relationships occur because of the fear of divorce, the common misconception of what love really is, or that a belief was instilled to disregard marriage as not being necessary. Either way, we are being cheated. We have been misinformed. The love that the world offers is vastly different from the true love that God offers. When we understand what love is and where it comes from, we will begin to understand that man's idea of love is a far-fetched unreachable goal. When we finally understand this truth we can start to base our relationships on something that is real and lasting. We can build on our foundation.

Man-made love vs God's love

When we think about words like love we automatically think of feelings, but love is not a feeling. Feelings are human emotions and they quickly change. It's no surprise to find love described in the dictionary as a feeling of warm personal attachment, deep affection, sexual passion or desire. If we explain love as a way we feel about someone else, common sense should tell us that the feeling isn't going to last forever. Our feelings change from day to day and even as quickly as minute to minute. So it's safe to say that feelings are not reliable and you can see why a marriage based on feelings would fail.

In a man-made idea, love and romance go hand and hand. We watch romance movies and say "Oh, if someone would just love me like that", but "that" is a fantasy that people have imagined and named "love". Romance doesn't even have anything to do with love. Here is an interesting definition of romance: a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention. So by man's own account romance is a fraud and yet we continue to base our relationships on this deception. Love isn't about blissful engagements of hand holding, flowers, hearts with candy, giggles, love letters, and moonlit walks. Love isn't about that "fuzzy feeling" or sense of euphoria that we experience at the beginning of a relationship. That very brief feeling can easily be described as hormones raging to cause the human emotion of lust, not love. There is no existance of "love at firt sight". You could truthfully call it "lust at first sight" or "infactuation at first sight", but not love. Real love is so much more than that.

When we base our relationships on these false ideas we set ourselves up for failure. A person who is ignorant to the reality of true love may begin to wonder what happened to the "fuzzy feeling" they so mistakingly called "love" earlier on in the relationship. When that feeling doesn't return they begin to believe that they have fallen out of "love" with the person they once held so much affection for. Ultimatly causing a decline in the relationship and then adding to the numbers of divorce statistics, or skipping from one relationship to the next looking for fulfillment. We have created an unreachable illusion of love causing our constant disapointment when that expectation cannot be met. By basing our relationships on a feeling or a romantic idea of love, we are wasting our life chasing something that doesn't exist. There is no security in that.

I don't know why the world has progressively adopted this adaptation of love. It could possibly be that, as man has evolved, the simplicity in which God intended our lives to include has slowely been replaced with the self righteous need for more. Nothing is good enough. We always want more. The simple truth in love is just simply to simple. By harboring this analagy, even if it is unoticed, we are only causing ourselves to miss out on all the wonderful things that God intended for us to have in our relationship. We are missing the simple truth in love.

Now that I have explained to you what love isn't, let me share with you what love is. Love is a choice, a spiritual mind set, and a way of life. Love illuminates every aspect of our lives and though real love is shown in many ways to everyone, it is made uniquely manifest in our marital relationships. Love is a direct reflection of God because God is love. I John 4:16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. When God is excluded from our marriage we are left loveless. We may have a bond or human feelings and emotions for another person that the world has named "love", but it isn't real love. Real love only comes from God. Here is the real definition of love:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

I would say this definition of love is a far cry different from the worlds definition of love. The description is more than just words but actions to be put into play. When we understand exactly what love is then we can begin to practice these traits until they become a part of us. Let's look at this definition a little closer.

Love suffers long and is kind
Love suffers? How you ask? Because when we love we are selfless, never concidering ourselves, but always serendering one's self to others. Always sacrificing and never taking thought of personal gain. Having patience, being affectionate, gracious, and softhearted.

love does not envy
If we are living in a slefless love then we would be unable to be envious. Envy means to have a feeling of dicontent or jelousy toward another persons attributes or success. To harbor feelings of the sort we would have to be thinking of ourselves and our own personal desires. If love does not envy then we must do the opposite. When we show love we must be supportive and admirable. Being proud of our loved ones accomplishments and to be content to see them prosper.

love does not parade itself,
When I think of a parade I imagine a noticable fanfare of colorful floats, loud marching bands, and large hot air balloons prancing down a busy street. So if love doesn't "parade" it's self then other words would be that love is not boastful, proud, or make a scene of itself. Boastful means to glorify one's self and love is intended to be humble and private,making it special. We don't show love by bragging about ourselves as an individual, but by lifting up the other party.

is not puffed up
When a dog or cat is angry or scared what do they do? They puff up their fur to intimidate their opponents by minipulating their size and making them seem bigger than they really are. So if love is not puffed up that would say to me that love is not quick to anger but slow to temper and has no fear. Love is not intimidating or minipulative, but rather honest and fair. Love is not defensive but is direct in it's communication.

does not behave rudely
When I think of actions that could be considered as rude; I think of things like sarcasm, critisism, disrespect, ill-mannered, vulger, harsh, sharp, and violent. If love does not behave rudely then we would define love with antonyms like tasteful, respectful, civilized, polite, just, humble, modest, and refined.

does not seek its own
This reinerates the above statement of love being selfless. If we are not seeking our own then we are renouncing our selves or humbeling ourselves to others.

is not provoked
Meaning that love holds no discontentment and harbors no feelings of animosity. Love does not hold a grudge but is quick to forgive. Love is not defensive but is open to recieve and be recieved.

thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth
Love does not have a sinful nature but rather engulfs itself in righteousness and dignity. It holds no thoughts of destruction, lewdness, or meaness but is pure in intent. Love is holy and doesn't derive from the flesh or fleshly desires.

bears all things,
True love is strong, powerful and coragious. There is a refuge and security in love. Love can dominate over any circumstance the world throws at it.

believes all things, hopes all things,
Love is confident and trusts in the possibility of fulfillment . Love is never negative but stays true to optimism and the prospect that it holds. Love excells in the faith of perserverance and a common goal to reach for.

endures all things
Love never quits, it never gives up. Love is brave, fearless, chivalrous, and bold. Love is persistant until it prevails, but everlasting and perminent, never ceasing.

Love never fails
Love is always successful in all of it's upright endevours. Love holds all of the characteristics of God himself, and God does not fail. He is unable to fail as is love.

This is true love. This is a kind of love that we can feel safe putting our trust in. This is the kind of love that we can be confident to build on our foundation as we weave it into our relationships. This love isn't a feeling, it's a choice. It's not very often that we feel like being selfless, but yet we choose to humble ourselves in order to show love. We don't very often feel like suffering, but we choose to sacrifice in order to form a union in love. When we put others above ourselves and this undertaking is practiced in relationships we are able to more effectively meet each others needs. There is no satisfaction in meeting our own needs.

Though a person may not hold the real tenor of love they still may be able to show some signs of love. From the feeling of affection we are compelled to act in some of the characteristics of the real love that I have described, but if you are not aware of love's truth and origin then you would be unable to maintain those actions as your feelings begin to change. In establishing the 1Corinthians 13 love we are able to have a constant source allowing us to continue to administer the actions of love.

Love was held at the highest esteem by Jesus himself. When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus answered,(in a nutshell) to love God and love others. Jesus knew how powerful love is. He knew that by teaching us to love above all else that we could be transformed. He taught us in that simple statement that if we held true to the facet of love that it would be impossible to break any of the ten commandments. It would be impossible to commit adultery if we were practiceing a love that is admarable and coragious. It is impossible to fornicate is we are living in the truth of a dignified and righteous love. If we are holding anothers needs above our own it would be impossible to bear false witness against our neighbor or to steal what belongs to another.

Love should be evident in every aspect of our lives, whether it is in the unique union of marriage or freely given away to others you come into contact with. Love is an awareness and without it all of our indevors are feeble. In the begining of Corinthians chapter 13 it states that no matter what we accomplish in life, it is nothing without love. Even with all of our good works, we profit nothing without love. Life is meaningless without love. Without love, happiness is unobtainable.

Busy as a bee



I've been so busy lately. In addition to taking care of my daughter and all my household duties, I have started writing again. I used to write when I was younger - mostely poetry. I have since found that I don't really hold a knack for poetry any longer but have moved on to do more writing on spiritual direction. I'm a very opinionated person and I find writing to be the perfect outlet to my opinions. I enjoy expressing myself much more so through written words than actually encounters because I am able to take my time and revise the point Im trying to get across. Anyway, Im enjoying myself, but keeping myself really busy. I'm writing a book on relationships. I haven't come to a decision yet, but Im leaning on the title of The Relationship Epidemic: The Truth and Lies of Love, Happiness, and Relationships. Im going to post a small section of the book and you tell me what you think of it. Remember to take into concideration that the section is in relevence to the rest of the book so some of it may be taken out of context, but you might get something out of it. Anyway, Love to all!

Chris Sligh

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Hey all!

Check out my guy Sligh on his blog spot at http://frommymindtoyoureyes.blogspot.com/

Chris Sligh was my favorite on AI this season and the show just isn't the same without him.
He's in a band Half Past Forever and they have a cd out Take a Chance on Something Beautiful - really worth checking out. Im a huge Chris Sligh fan and I'm really excited to see his career blossom despite his early exit from AI.

Anyway, show some support for my guy Sligh!

Love to all!

God's ABC's to raising children - and what I think of them.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Always trust your children to God's care.
We need to be trusting (and doing lots of praying) for God to equipt us for the trials of child raising....it's a big job and we can't do it successfully on our own. Teach our kids, by example, to trust in God and his provision in every situation.

Bring them to church.
Not just bring them, but make sure your there every time the doors are open....CONSISTANTLY, on time, and joyfully! Get them involved in the church - don't just attend. Let your kids see you being involved, going after the ministry whole -heartedly, and giving to God's family. Our kids are watching us so let's be the example that God intends us to be for them.

Challenge them to high goals.
I hate the saying "kids will be kids" because I believe that kids will be what we teach them to be. So we should always expect the best in every situation as we encourage them to excell to reach higher goals.

Delight in their achievements.
Praising our kids is just as important as disciplin. We should smother them with affection when the situation calls for it. Nothing should go unoticed. They look to you for approval and if they don't get it from you then they will seek it out elsewhere and we know that the world doesn't have the same intentions for our children as we do.

Exalt the Lord in their presence.
It is crucial for our children to see us praising, worshiping, and living for the Lord. Notjust by words but by our actions in our every day life.

Frown on evil.
Never condone or make light of a situation that could be used as a learning experience. In every circumstance we should be taking the time to teach our children. Their minds are always at work as we should always be at work to mold those impretionable minds in the right direction. Every thing has a cause and effect; every television show, every song, every conversation we may overhear from a passerby ect. Be sure that they know your disapproval and use God's word to back it up.

Give them love.
Well that's stateing the obvious now isn't it. In 1 Corinthians 13 Jesus explains to us what love is and he finishes off the chapter by saying this: And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. In Mathew 22:36 when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was he replied (in a nutshell) to love God and Love others. Our children will define love by the way we, as parents, show it to them and to each other. So set the bar high.

Hear their problems.
We need to be available for our kids. This is just one reason why I believe that the woman should stay home. It's difficult to be involved in our kids lives, to the degree that is really needed, when we are busy with careers. We need to be completely undestracted when our children need guidance in an issue that life has brought their way. We are responisble to teach them the Biblicaly based decision makeing skills that they will need as we teach them to lay their burdens at Jesus feet.

Ignore not their childish fears.
In Mathew 18:13 Jesus tells us that unless we change and become like little children that we will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. So we need to be asking ourselves what little children are like. They are inquisative, zealous, resiliant, obedient (if you've been doing your job), they believe what we tell them, they are afraid of the unknown, they rely and depend on their parents, they are constantly learning, and they aim to please and beg for our attention. We should encourage this in our children. We should teach them to cast their fears on the Lord. Let them be meek because the meek will inheret the Earth.

Joyfully accept their apologies.
And teach them to apoligize.
Teach them to forgive by forgiving them and then let it go. Forgiving means to forget. Encourage honest apologies. I don't believe a child scournfully spouting an "Im sorry" as they roll their eyes is a sincere apology. They need some time and guidance to understand that the concept of apologies and forgiveness go hand and hand. Use the situation as a teaching moment about how our Heavenly Father has forgiven us and how we should ask for forgiveness. The Bible tells us that if we don't forgive then our heavenly father will not forgive us.

Keep their confidence.
A childs confidence in anything is a direct result of the parents confidence in their child. It is important that no stone go unturned when we are encouraging our children. They need our constant approval and disapproval. Constantly teaching them the difference between right and wrong as we build them up to be able to eventualy make the right decisions on their own. Give them confidence by teaching them of a life built on solid ground by putting our trust in God and relying in him. Give them a firm foundation to build on and be there patting them on the back all the while.

Live a good example before them.
What have I been saying? Then it must be pretty important, right? It is. Probabably the most important aspect of raising our children. Never tell your children "do as I say and not as I do". How can you expect your kids to be anything more (or less for that matter) than the example that you set for them. They are what we teach them to be and I believe that the best method of teaching is to give an example.

Make them your friends.
To an extent, but always keep the common bond between parent and child. Children need sturdy, reliable, consistant gaurdians much more so than friends. You can laugh with them, play with them, converse with them just as their peers will do, but always remember that you are the parent and you can never be on the same level as your child and vise-versa.

Never ignore their endless questions.
And the questions are endless! You want your child to feel as if they can come to you for anything. To ask you any question and to trust you for an honest, reliable answer. At the same time it's also very important that you teach your child to think for themselves. Encourage your childs interest for more knowledge but help them to learn of ways to retrieve some of that knowledge on their own. Teach them to use recources such as a dictionary, encyclopedia, the internet, or use the opportunity to do some teaching about God's word. Don't be openly frustrated from the monotony, but yet direct your childs inquiries into developing problem solving skills, and a healthy thought pattern.

Open your heart to their love.
I don't even know at what age a child is when they truly understand the meaning of love. I don't even think that most adults understand the meaning of love, but it is a natural human instinct to form a bond or relationship that we have named love. I believe that children, even though they may not understand it, show obvious signs of love. You just have to be intuitive to their language. A child may not know the meaning of "I love you", but they show you with every smile pointed in your direction, every accomplishment that is presented for your approval, every trick they preform just for you, every little piece of art work, every flower picked in your honor, every kiss and hug, every time they fall down and look for you to pick them up, they are saying "I love you".

Pray for them by name.
Not just pray for them but pray with them. Jesus said to pray without ceasing and that's exactly what we should be teaching our kids. And how do we teach them? By doing it and letting them see us and involving them in it. Prayer is our communication with God and it is a learned habit. A family that prays together, stays together.

Quicken your interest in their spirituality.
It is our responsibility to guide our children spiritualy as well as physically and mentally. Our spiritual progression is the only thing that we will keep for eternity so it should be placed at the top of our priority list. There are so many distractions that can pull us away from our focus, but our children should constantly know and understand what life is for. To serve God and to serve others. To tell as many as we can about the truth and to live that truth as an example. To do the Lords work, raise our family in his ways, be transformed into what he has in store for us and to ultimatly go to our eternal home with our King....and take as many as we can in the process. We should keep God's kingdom above all other concerns in our life and our children should be taught to do the same.

Remember their needs.
A child relies in their parents for everything. We are the "need meeter" and thats how they percieve love. They know that we love them because they are secure, comfortable, and taken care of. We meet our childrens needs as God meets our needs. It is also important to remember what needs are crucial and which needs are not necessary. It is far better to sacrifice wordly attributes and to gain spiritual fufillment.

Show them the way of salvation.
The most important job that parents have. To raise them up in truth, righteousness, and servitude. To base our everyday life on living for God. We already discussed that the World doesn't have the same intentions for our kids as we have for them so we must equipt them for a successful Christian life.

Teach them to work.
Oh, so important. God designed our bodies to work and rightly so. Work is good for us. It usually is good exercise, it teaches us valuable traits like responsibilty, punctuality, serivitude, humility, ownership, and the list goes on. Don't feel bad for making your kids do something, it's good for them and the leason in having chores is priceless.Understand they are still young.
Kids need constant direction. They are the clay and we are the artist - so to speak. As we mold them we must remember that they are still in the making. We must more importantly remember that they will never be perfect, but the desire to continualy strive for perfection must be present.

Verify your statements.
The Bible says to keep your answers to yes and no. That means to keep it simple. We should direct our children with simplicity, honesty, and a glad heart. Give clear directions, expectations and consequents accordingly. Never use sarcasm. That's a habit that you don't want your children to pick up. Sarcasm is usually hurtful, and disrespectful. We are trying to teach our kids to be respectful and loving.....quite the opposite. Luke 6:45 says that out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. That means that what is in your heart will eventually be professed by your mouth. And Mathew 7:17 says

Wean them from bad company.
We should be watching our kids like a hawk. Especially this day in socioty. 1 Peter 5:8 states: Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. That someone means our children included. This world will corrupt them the second that we let them out of our sight. We should know who, when, where, why, what for, and all the in between. We should know our childrens friends, their friends parents, lifestyle, religion, marital status, and blood type if necessary....ok, ok, we probably won't need the blood type, but you get how serious the situation is here. We should make it a habit to show up unexpectadly, watch from a distance on ocassion, know every detail and be involved.

eXpect them to obey.
Consistancy is the key here, folks. When something is wrong once then it should be wrong the next time and dealt with accordingly. We should expect no less from them at any given time. Often times it isn't convenient and seems to be a punishment for everyone, but it's your job. They must be taught obedience. God expects it from us and we should expect it from them.

Yearn for God's best for them.
And we know that God only has the best for his children.

Zealously guide them in Bible truth.
Well thats hitting the nail on the head. I've said it before and I will say it again: lead by example. The Bible is a tool rich with history, guidlines, encouregment, answers, and truths to base a spiritually sound life on. Our kids should be well fimiliar with this rescource by seeing us refer to it in every situation.

In conclusion, I don't presume to know all about raising kids (After all, I've only just begun my journey as a parent), but I do presume to know God's word and that's all I need to know.
 
   





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